Move to Philly. Live with an asshole.
Some time ago I moved from Washington, DC to Philadelphia. After two years I realized what a hell hole I was in and had the smarts to get my ass to Mars. Mars, New York City.
In moving to Philly, I had to find a place to live and hit up Craigslist. I responded to a number of ads, writing a short bio of myself, the most important fact regarding the following correspondence being that I mention occasionally smoking “the stuff” (aka “the stuff”). My email campaign began in mid-June and I moved into a place in early July. Fortunately I dodged Rainer (cool name), the guy in the emails below. After receiving my email sometime around June 15th, he wrote back August 8th, nearly two months later.
Very little editing of our exchange has been done except for the obvious. I really regret giving him the last word.
A conversation with Fleshlight’s online operator
For those not in the know, Fleshlight is a male masturbatory aid. Shaped like a flashlight, the Fleshlight gives dudes the choice of five different orifices in which to stick their thing. My favorite is the mouth. It looks like someone being sucked into another dimension. Or what I imagine that would look like.
“Kiss me. Well, wash me thoroughly first and then kiss me.”
